Here’s an excerpt from the Oola Guys:
Challenge 10: Anger
We’ve all been hurt. Some of us have been hurt by a boss, a parent, a financial situation, a spouse (or ex-spouse), a child, or a friend. We go through deep pain, betrayal, abandonment, and anger.
Our pain can lead to many forms of anger that not only affect you but everyone around you. This persistent anger can convince us to not believe in ourselves, trust other people, or love again. Oftentimes, we forgive whoever hurt us, but we haven’t actually dealt with what’s been done to us.
Today’s #OolaYLChallenge is to decide how long you will carry the anger and pain from your past into your future. If you have the courage to do this, we guarantee your past will always remind you but never define you.
Sure, I’ve got some acute anger and hurt at other people and circumstances but there’s only one person I’m truly ANGRY with…ALL THE TIME lately. And, it’s…ME 😡
I am angry I’ve not done better at prioritizing my relationships, my time, my money, my house, my photo albums, my health and on and on the list goes. I’m in a constant state of disappointment because I’m not living up to my own expectations…as set by the never ending “to-do” list. And y’all…autocorrect just changed list to liar and I had to laugh…’cause, for once autocorrect is on point. I’m lying to myself if I think that list is even close to realistic for a single person to accomplish in the timelines I have set.
The last couple of weeks have been really eye-opening on this subject. When Grace, Tiara, Amy and I were lucky enough to hear Shawn Achor speak at the YL Convention…it wasn’t the first time I’d heard a lot of his material (I highly recommend his book The Happiness Advantage or simply check out one of his TED Talks)…I’ve even used some of it to teach my Total Fitness elective at CGSC. But, the last few weeks I’ve kept coming back to a single concept…if happiness = success but success = a moving target…I’ll never BE happy. 😔
And anger and disappointment can’t be my motivation to do more or do better. Cause clearly….it isn’t working.
So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what success means to me. Healthy kids. A marriage with fire. A career I’m passionate about. Knowing I did my best to take care of those who count on me to fight for them. ❤️
The rest…messy house, piles of laundry, a to do list that doesn’t quit…they don’t really matter. Someday I’ll have it all done but I won’t have littles to chase and giggle with. And I won’t have the same responsibilities to the Army- to be a steward of my profession and to adopt all the families of my Soldiers as my own (and sometimes over my own). And, I am already seeing most of my oily team take off and fly on their own (though it warms my heart when they still need me from time to time).
So, I’ve been practicing grace this last week. Giving myself a break. Reprioritizing the lists. Catching up, when and where I can. Pursuing those assistants I mentioned on Day 2 and trying to just…breathe in the moments before they pass by. I’m not winning at every turn….by a lot 😂…but I feel confident I’m doing my best. And, I can already feel the difference in the climate in my home. Less whining (from adults and kiddos alike) and more smiles and more 🔥 shared between Drew and I. It’s been a couple of long tough weeks but, I’ve never felt more loved. And maybe that’s what success is all about…