Building a Grateful Heart

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Today we are looking back on day 15 of the Oola Challenge and our first Oola Accelerator…Gratitude.

I’ve learned in the last year that humans are incapable of feeling more than one emotion at a time. 😱 Sure…we can surge thru them at rapid speed but we can only embrace one in a given moment. I’ve also come to know that gratitude is the most powerful of all emotions.

When I first completed this day of the Oola Challenge and read the quote “Through all things be grateful and have faith”…I didn’t fully comprehend what that meant.  But now, I understand that no matter what you are walking thru…if you can build a grateful heart, you will be insulated. You will be able to block out the distractions around you and rest in his perfect peace.

And as insane as it sounds…we have to PRACTICE gratitude. We have to seek it, savor it, share it and give ourselves to it completely. It often starts superficially with small things because we are literally rewriting our brains to see positivity.

Think about it…the news media rarely portrays a feel good story unless it’s buried under a myriad of other human suffering, civil rights impingement and ethical mistep stories. And what is there to celebrate? Success? Well, that’s a moving target because it usually sounds like this…”I’ll be successful/happy when —x—“ and then we get to “x” and it becomes “y”. 🤷‍♀️

I teach a resilience course at CGSC and frankly, I’m a fraud. I KNOW this stuff is true. I’ve had a front row seat to lives and relationships changed by growing positivity and it always starts with “hunting the good stuff”…embracing, reflecting on and savoring gratitude. My students report their homework assignments feel like a chore…at first. They were skeptical. Overcoming the negativity bias was hard. But then, a transformation happens and they start to experience positive events and they no longer have to force themselves to seek them. They begin to realize there were all of these things to be grateful for happening all around them everyday but they were walking around with blinders on. Y’all, I know this. I hear it every time I teach this course…and yet, it’s tremednoulsy challenging to force myself to complete this simple exercise.

But, this month is all about “finishing” what I started. So…here’s to hunting the good stuff. There’s absolutely nothing to lose in trying!

day 1-

I’m grateful that I got to experience “Taco Tuesday” and a night at the park with the two crazies in this picture. It was made possible because I left work at a reasonable hour and because I worked out and stuck to my diet today (at least until dinner 😂).

I’m grateful that I took time for me this morning and got in a workout. It was made possible by being organized the night before, getting up when I first woke up versus trying to fight my way back to sleep and I think it gave me greater emotional balance to face my day and stay on track/productive which enabled HTGS #1.

I’m grateful for a staff at work that respects me and our mission and fully supports me every single day thru all the crazy.  They’ve got my back and I pray they know I have theirs. They have truly made me see how important it is to have a tribe. They make me eat, they make me laugh, they let me vent and they take care of the balls I drop when the juggling act goes awry. Thank God for Ty, Dezi and Julie. 😘

What are you grateful for today?

 

 

 

Just Say No- to Negativity

I’m back…two days in a row 🙌🏼 Today I’m looking at those Oola Blockers from days 8-14. 

Fear- For those who don’t know…I’m going to be single parenting for the next year. My husband is moving to Pensacola, FL to be the Professor of Military Science at the University of West Florida. We had a choice. We chose to control our separation. If he stayed here, we lost control of the next assignment and if I chose to move…I wasn’t guaranteed a slot with him and I was vulnerable to an overseas assignment. So, we chose the separation we knew…over the one we didn’t. I know in my heart this is the right decision for us. But, I’m terrified. I am SOOO afraid of the next year. Afraid I’ll fail at all my jobs…most especially at parenting while flying solo. Afraid I will let my fear, pain, jealousy get in the way of my most precious relationships. Afraid I will lose my shit on the regular and that I’ll let everyone down 😭 

But, I have to admit my fear, use it as a forcing mechanism (to hire those assistants I’ve been talking about for a year) and I cannot let it paralyze me. 

Guilt- ugh. Such a double edged sword. I feel it. I serve it. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I have to learn to exercise grace for myself and to give it without holding back and passing judgment. Stop projecting my own fears and emotions on others. Ask for clarity. Practice forgiveness and walk away when necessary. It’s not all meant to workout. Everyone is t meant to love me. I have to do my best and be my best self. That’s the only standard I can give myself. 

Anger- ummm 😐 This is a work in progress. And I have a long way to go. Relaxing my grip and practicing grace are the best things I can do for everyone in my life right now. Lord, help me to remember and let go. 🙏🏻

Self-Sabotage- I have to stop letting myself get frozen by feeling overwhelmed. It just makes me feel useless, like I’ll never be enough and unworthy. But, every finished task makes me feel productive and energized….like I can do anything and the light at the end of the tunnel glows in response. I just have to “keep swimming Dorrie” 🐳

Laziness- bottom line…Stop. Making. Excuses. I’m not lazy. I’m the queen of procrastination. But I bring this stress on myself and I let the overwhelming take me over by shoving it all in a corner for later. Must take bite-sized chunks each day. 

Jealousy- my favorite day in 21 Days of Prayer covers this verse…John 10:10. 

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” 

Comparison is a joy thief. And what we see is only ever half the story. I mean…how much of my own story am I really sharing? Let it GO! His time. His plan. Not my own. 

Focus- This. This is wha I tall boils down to. Focus can be a blocker or an accelerator. It all depends on how it’s applied. If I let my focus go dark and live in the negative…I will not thrive. But, if I can find a positive lens and chase my dreams with the end in mind…not just the minor setbacks of the short range targets…THAT is what it’s all about. And to that end…I can’t compare myself to others, I can’t worry about what other people think (it makes me inauthentic) and I can’t pour from an empty cup. I have to take care of me…mentally, physically, spiritually. I have to turn my focus inward for the problems and the answers. So….this is 40. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Y’all. It’s been a crazy long day. It started so promising…out the door on time…I even got a lot of stuff done…but did I spend my time wisely? Did I finish the day without screaming at everyone? 😐😬🙄 Ugh. But, this list. This review of Oola Blockers….such great reminders. I’ve come a long ways in some ways but I have so far to go to be the me I want to be. 

Must. Stay. Focused. 

Starting Over…Again

Y’all. Follow thru….not my strong suit. I mean…it IS if what I’m working on is not for me. But if it’s about my personal growth, faith journey, memory albums, fitness or whatever…I let a hundred other things get in the way of finishing it until I’m so far behind that I’m embarrassed to continue. So…I start over. But, guess what? I STILL don’t finish. 

So, here we are almost two years after I started this blog and barely any growth. And by growth…I don’t mean followers cause I wasn’t expecting this to catapult me to stardom. But, I wanted it to be a creative outlet or maybe just a place for me to word vomit my feelings. And if it speaks to someone else…then great. But, I keep stalling out. And yet I keep reading about how wonderful it is to journal and get the pent up emotions out. And Lord knows my husband would like me to let them out somewhere else 😂🙌🏼😳

So, for Mother’s Day….I’m giving myself a gift. Im gonna use this space. And, I’m gonna finish some things. I’ve got a few personal growth challenges that I want to wrap up…like Oola, 21 Days of Prayer, Abide and Eat Pray Hustle. But…I’m not starting over this time. I’m gonna just do a little “reboot” review of the exercises I HAVE finished for each and then pick up where I left off. 

I decided to start with Oola because, y’all…redefining balance and what it means to me HAS to be a priority. I’m losing myself, my temper and my relationships because I can’t find the right focus and energy. And my Oola wheel is showing the wear and tear. The wheels are falling off this bus 😬

Week one focuses on the 7 Fs of Oola. So, here we go with a review of Days 1-7 which were the focus of today’s reflection:

  1. Fitness- 3 things I love about my body are: that it allowed me to bring two healthy children into this world, that it STILL turns my husband on and that it still functions fully- allowing me to do all the things I need to do. It may not look how I want, feel how I want to do everything as well as 8 want 🤦🏼‍♀️ but guess who is responsible for those things? Yep….ME. Time to get real and be accountable. 
  2. Finance- this is supposed to be about sacrifice and I’m definitely going about this one in the wrong way but…my sacrifice isn’t going to be spending this year. It’s going to be saving 🤷🏼‍♀️ I have to sacrifice my need to control and to do it all…not just myself but my way. You can’t ask for help and then expect everyone to do it identically to how you would have done it, right? Ummm…okay…sure. I’m gonna try at least. I am a work in progress, after all. So…today I emailed a possible new virtual assistant and some possible housekeeper upgrades and this week we are submitting our application to get an au pair. Eeeep! Talk about giving up control. It’s fixing to get real. 😳
  3. Family- mostly #2 is designed as it is to give me more quality time here being positively present. My kids are growing up so fast and I constantly feel like I’m missing it 😭 I am pledging to unplug for 2 hours before bedtime each night and for 6 hours each day of the weekend. Wish me luck….this might be the most important commitment I’m making this month!
  4. Field- So, here’s the thing…it’s my last year in the Army. It’s not an easy job commanding 900 Captains and Majors. Some days it down right sucks. The hours aren’t great and there’s no incentive pay. But some days, we get it right for someone and I know I’ve had a positive impact. I do love what I do…most of the time. But, this year…I’m planning to do less of it. What?!? That’s not what this Challenge said, Sherri! I know, I know. But, hear me out…I just wrapped up teaching my second course in Total Fitness. And the statistics that stuck out were about how happier (more positive) people are healthier and more productive (by 31%). So, I’m planning to refocus. I’m only gonna be there 4 days a week (when I can) because I owe myself and my kiddos the time to recharge and because I need to start transitioning and positioning for the next chapter. Also, I need to workout and de-stress more. Everything I’ve read says this will make me a better leader, parent and friend. So, I’m embarking on a one year experiment, people. 
  5. Faith- the struggle is real here. I don’t feel connected. I believe but my faith is lacking. So, I’m gonna get intentional (more so) about my prayer life and hunting the good stuff…focusing more on gratitude and embracing excellence vs pursuing perfection (more about those when we dive into 21 Days of Prayer). 
  6. Friends- I’ve already downsized here. But not in the best way. Some via self-selection and many because I suck at staying connected. So, I am going to pick a couple of relationships each week to focus on via texts, calls, emails and cards…I’ve expanded beyond “friends” in much the same way that I define “family” and I’m using this exercise to focus on the relationships that matter most in my life. 
  7. Fun- y’all. I don’t even know where to start. But, working out releases endorphins which help with sleep, digestion and stress. So…I’m gonna spend some time on that. And…escaping reality…reading/watching a show. I don’t want to get carried away with this one but I need to decluttered my night stand and give myself something to look forward to besides chocolate 😂

So, there you have it. Week one in review. Day 1 of this Mother’s Day Gift in the bag! Eeep! What about you? What’s something for yourself that you’ve been putting off for far too long?

Interested in completing the Oola Challenge with me? You can take the first step here: https://www.oolalife.com/step1

Oola Challenge Day 16: Love

Here’s an excerpt from the Oola Guys:

Challenge 16: Love

See how real-life romance takes you to Oola.

When we think of romance, it’s easy to get caught up in what the world tells us it looks like: rose petals, candlelit baths, extravagant dates, and expensive jewelry. At it’s core, true romance is simply thoughtfulness. When you listen and interact with your significant other with care and empathy, you realize that the most romantic gestures aren’t ones that you’ll necessarily see in a movie. Instead, they’re the actions that simply show you’ve been paying attention.

Today’s #OolaYLChallenge is to do one romantic thing for the love of your life. Seize the moment and go be a hopeless romantic in a way that changes your relationship.


Story books, fairy tales, movies and even the “adult novels” are full of romantic ideals that just pollute our minds with unrealistic expectations of love, relationships and sex.

Yup – I said it.

Does that mean I don’t love them? Nope. I do.  Lol.

But, one of the things I’m, ironically, most grateful for…is all the times my romantic hopes and dreams did NOT come true. All those unanswered prayers…they led me to Drew.

He is my match (or superior, if I’m honest but shhhh….don’t tell him) in nearly every way. There are the personality and health differences…Myers Briggs has me as an ESFJ preference….he’s an INTP. I’m OCD, he’s chill. I’m sugar and cream…he’s straight black. I’m lazy, he’s active. He’s a night owl, I’m a morning person. He’s intellectual, I’m emotional.  Then there are the parenting differences…he’s patient, I hover. He’s playful, I’m the enforcer. He’s present, I’m planning. But probably the number one differ BDE and the reason I love and need him the most…I’m stress and he’s calm  ❤️

He is my centerpoint, my rock in the storm and the one that pulls me back from the ledge and restores my balance. He’s the keeper of my hopes and dreams and while he claims to not know what goes in in my head…he knows my heart without a word. Every time.

I constantly strive to “take care of him” and handle the “little things” without being ask. In some ways, I think that IS “real love and romance” but…we have another difference (of course we do) and it’s in our love languages. I’m physical touch, acts of service and gifts while he is quality time and words of affirmation. So, here I sit struggling with how to do that today 🤷🏼‍♀️

Weve spent the morning entertaining kids and purging the house…in some ways, that’s just what he’s looking for…less clutter in our lives (on that point we agree completely). But, I think we need to go somewhere today…just the two of us for at least an hour and just simply breathe. Not talk about the day or the upcoming week like we usually do but…just touching one another and breathing in the moment. I’m pretty sure that’s his idea of heaven. And y’all…

Don’t wait til tomorrow to give each other what you need and to show them how much you love and need/appreciate them. Just like there is no “ideal time” to have kids…there’s never gonna be an “ideal time” to make the gesture and say the words. And I know that if I live another 60 years with this man…it will never have been enough time…so, why waste a single minute?

 

 

 

Oola Challenge Day 15: Gratitude

Here’s an excerpt from the Oola Guys:

Challenge 15: Hunt the Good Stuff

In the past seven days, we’ve covered the OolaBlockers. These bad boys keep you from the life you dream of and deserve – your OolaLife. We encourage you to continue overcoming all the OolaBlockers in your life. During these next seven days, we’ll discuss OolaAccelerators. These are the characteristics and traits that take you to your OolaLife faster.

The first OolaAccelerator is gratitude. If you want to fast track your journey to Oola, embrace gratitude during the good times and the bad. Be grateful for every part of your journey. The more grateful you are, the more open you are to joyful opportunities.


Hunt the Good Stuff is one of my favorite exercises as a resilience trainer. But, it’s deceptive in how easy it sounds. When you first start doing this exercise it can be a real challenge (for us negative nellies, at least) to find something of consequence (i.e. more than, my alarm went off and I woke up) or something that is more than a silver lining to the bad parts of your day (like, at least it’s over or only happens once a year). The benefits of a grateful outlook though? Y’all.

Statistics show that grateful hearts live longer, sleep better and are more readily adaptable to stressful situations.  And guess what? They are happier because gratitude is contagious and spills over. Once you get accustomed to looking for and finding beauty (things to be grateful for) in your life…you start to see them everywhere. In essence….happiness takes practice! And it’s really not a big bowl of malarkey that…happiness is a choice 😳

Studies also show it takes at least 21 days of dedicated practice to make something a habit. I am pretty stoked to throw myself all-in on this experiment….cause who doesn’t want more happiness and better sleep (and all the mamas said Amen! #amiright).

So, today I’m grateful for:
A husband who gets me…who knows when the bear needs kicked out of the cave (not just poked) and who would drive 45 min thru rush hour traffic in downtown Kansas City on Friday night just so I can show my bestie something quintessential KC.

A friend with the curiosity and patience to dive into purging with me (on my terms- God bless you, Brogan) and spend back-to-back Saturday mornings helping me “let go” of the “things” in my life!

A mother who flies cross country whenever I need her to love on my babies…I pray they will have sweet memories of their Nana to last a lifetime. ❤️

What are you grateful for today?

Oola Challenge Day 14: Focus

Here’s an excerpt from the Oola Guys:

Challenge 14: Narrow your focus to fast-track your progress.

One of the most beautiful things about life is that we get to be so many things to so many people. We’re parents, children, mentors, friends, teammates, classmates, and colleagues. We’re constantly taking care of all the people and responsibilities we have in our lives. It’s easy to get caught up in all these labels and forget who we are and what makes us unique. Sometimes we even find ourselves reigning in our energy a little as we hold back things we want to say and doubt ourselves.

Today’s #OolaYLChallenge is to take 30 minutes and do something for your soul. Set aside the requests, demands, stresses, and deadlines and take the time to focus on yourself. Do something that allows you to be yourself, express yourself, and have faith in yourself.


Oh man. I feel like I’ve spent years of my life working on this post. Serious.

I definitely get caught up in all the roles and responsibilities in my life- mom, wife, Soldier, etc. Sometimes I wonder what happened to Sherri. My besties have always been there to remind me and to make me feel needed and appreciated just for being me. But, time, space (and kids if we’re being honest) have made our reunion opportunities few and far between 😭

For the last three years, the Inspired Living team (my Oily crew) has helped fill a void in my life….a need to be with other women pursuing something I’m passion about, sharing laughs, sharing in celebrations and losses and just enjoying some good ole girl talk now and then. But, as my team has grown (by leaps and bounds) this year, some of my loneliness has crept back in. I haven’t been able to find my new “fit” as we’ve grown and in some ways my Oily world has shifted such that it’s now another “hat” that I wear. It’s one of those things that is both wondrous to behold (dreams becoming realities, new leaders taking off on their own) and a little sad (they don’t need me in the same way they used to).

Put the changes in my oily world together with all the personal (overwhelming clutter) and professional (new duty position) stress in my life over the last 2-3 months and well…it’s clear that my focus is not where it needs to be because everything is suffering from personal relationships (where I didn’t put my best foot forward), to motherhood (lack of patience and enjoyment), to marriage (lack of connection and real quality time)  and now it’s evident in my health…

Apparently, I have a lazy eye but my body/brain have always done such a masterful job of compensating that it’s been undetectable. But, at this year’s physical it was glaring and severe. Based on the amount of deterioration in the last year, the flight surgeon says I’m suffering from chronic fatigue and if I don’t do something about it soon…I’m gonna go blind. For real. My brain is starting to shut down those processes that aren’t necessary for function…and my double vision is one of them. 🙁

Whoa. Talk about a wake up call, huh? So, as I approach my 40th birthday, I’m spending a lot of time re-examining how I spend my time and energy. Hence…my renewed vigor towards decluttering my life (mentally and physically).

It’s an inch a visit but the work with my professional organizer, Brogan, is really helping. Her presence forces me to FOCUS on the task at hand. Seeing progress is motivational and I can finally see a light at the end of that tunnel…no matter how faint. By our two year anniversary in this house…I will finally be settled in 😂 It will probably be just in time for the next Army move but with a lighter load. So, I can be happy with that.

And, on the weekends, I am doing better about “sleeping when the baby sleeps” because…everything else can wait. Mama can’t anymore. So, some things aren’t getting done- around the house, in my biz and on the job- but I’m enjoying time with my kids and husband. Balance is an illusion…we are really all just that guy at the circus with a bunch of plates spinning on sticks (thanks to the Oola Guys for this analogy….such an eye opener). “Balance” is learning where to focus when one of the plates starts to wobble and reprioritizing your energy (FOCUS) to get it back in rhythm with the rest.

I don’t know if all of this will save me from eye surgery. But, I can honestly say…I feel poised to make the next 40 years even more amazing than the first because I’m learning to embrace myself (flaws and all), the present (inspite of the past and despite the future) and to accept/respect that spending time on yourself isn’t selfish. Self-care recharges the soul. And, when I’m full up…I have a lot more to give ❤️

Oola Challenge Day 13: Jealousy

  1. Here’s an excerpt from the Oola Guys:

Challenge 13: Trade Jealousy for Inspiration

Have you ever become overly consumed with someone else’s life? Maybe you’re checking their Facebook page every day. Maybe you’re constantly comparing their relationship to yours. Maybe you wish you thought up their business idea so you could be crushing it.

Today’s #OolaYLChallenge is to identify everything that person has that you want. Whether it includes traits or things, put it all on there. Now, cross off his or her name and above it write, “What is possible.”

Let the things other people have inspire you instead of making you feel jealous or envious. You are worthy and have the talents and abilities to get what you want out of life.


First, a quick note on the difference between envy and jealousy. Jealousy is wanting what someone else has (even when we can’t possibly know all the behind the scenes circumstances). But envy is something altogether uglier. You know you suffer from envy when you not only want what others have, but you also want to make sure they don’t have it. Yuck, right? It doesn’t feel good to even consider the possibility that we harbor those kinds of feelings.

But y’all. Ugly truth bomb 💥! I’m guilty of this. Not so much because I don’t want them to have it but because rather than looking for all the work they are doing behind the scenes or for ways to get after it myself….I am guilty of thinking how karma will catch up to them, characterizing their good fortune as luck instead of the payoff for hard work or perhaps worse…justifying why I don’t have it or am not worthy of it. 😱💔

Enough 🙅🏼

Over the last year a few things have been revealed to me (or I finally faced the truth):

  1. Social Media does not equal reality  or at least it doesn’t tell the whole story.
  2. Some of these folks have been willing to make a lot of sacrifices that I haven’t…of time, sleep, finances, other interests, etc.
  3. Until I am willing to assess myself honestly and put in the work required….I’m not going to make forward progress.
  4. I can blame circumstances and contrast myself with others (capabilities, network, opportunities) but the reality is….I have no one to blame but myself if I’m not successful. Ouch!

This year I taught an elective at the Command and General Staff College on Resilience (I know, I know….those who can’t….teach, right?). One of the TED Talks I used also happened to be the guest speaker at YL’s Convention this year. Shawn Achor is the author of “The Happiness Advantage” which proposes two big things I highlighted in my classes (and which I think are particularly relevant for me):

  1. Positive people have an advantage in life, in that they are grateful, more resilient and more likely to appreciate the present moment.
  2. Success must be defined and not in terms of “when I….I will be happy” because that, my friends, is a moving target that we will never achieve.#grassaintalwaysgreener #carefulwhatyouwishfor

So, I’m really concentrating on enjoying my journey, letting go of the past and trying not to sacrifice the present for the future. And, I’m trying to remember that the picture on social media only tells half the story because we all have pain, sorrow, jealousy and fear that we don’t display for others; my worth and value aren’t determined by what I don’t have but rather…what I do…and the effort I put forth in pursuing my dreams. And, finally, anything is possible with Faith, elbow grease and some positive energy.

OH! But the biggest lesson the last few years has taught me (and what I’m gonna post on my mirror, my phone and any other surface where I need it): This life may be lived on my terms but not on my time. It’s His time and I’ve only ever been disappointed by unanswered prayers when I lacked the faith to believe He had something better planned for me ❤️

 

Oola Challenge Day 12: Laziness

Here’s an excerpt from the Oola Guys:

Challenge 12: Overcoming Laziness

On the path to Oola, there is no room for lazy. It cannot be a part of your life in any way, shape, or form. It’s easy to get caught up life’s routines and feel comfortable where you are, but feeling comfortable is a double-edged sword.  At Oola, we encourage you to find contentment and gratitude in your situation, but we also want you to have faith in how much further you can go.

A life you desire but only think about is just a dream. Written down, it becomes a goal. By writing down your goal and reading it every day, you will constantly remind yourself to take steps closer to the life you dream of and deserve.


Y’all. Honest self-assessment here. I don’t think I’m lazy (except in the gym). But, I struggle with unrealistic expectations for myself in terms of the amount of stuff I can accomplish in a given window of time. I let myself get overwhelmed because I can’t set priorities (if everything is a priority, then nothing is) and then I don’t know where to start and so….I don’t.

This is the primary reason I’ve had “declutter life” as a goal for the last couple of years. From the stuff that piles up (of its own accord and in record time) on my kitchen counter, to the knick knacks from years ago I haven’t been able (or willing) to part with, to the time sucks (errr…commitments) I get stuck in. It’s relationships that aren’t value added, the toys no one plays with anymore, the clothes the kids have outgrown that I will someday organize, sell or donate. It’s the things I think I HAVE to do and the to do lists that never end.

That sounds pretty hopeless, huh? The truth though? I’ve just been too tired (mentally and physically) to do anything besides whine and complain about it. Woe is me. 😳 Ummmm…I think that might be the definition of lazy. Crap! It’s only “hopeless” if I let myself get stuck in that mindset and remain inactive.

So, it’s time to get real. Set some mini goals, hire some assistants (remember Day 2?) and get after it. I want my time and energy back. Last week I spent a few hours going thru baby gear and toys and making ads with my organizer in FB groups. Stuff has been slowly trickling out my front door and the rest has an expiration date. We still have piles upon piles to go but it feels good to be getting it done. And you know what?

Progress=Motivation ❤️

Oola Challenge Day 11: Self-Sabotage

Here’s an excerpt from the Oola Guys:

Challenge 11: Replace self-sabotage with courage.

We all have goals that we’re set on accomplishing – the goals we pursue relentlessly until we accomplish them. No failure, pain, heartache, or challenge will keep us from it.

Then there are things that we believe we can’t do. These are the good things in our lives that we don’t feel worthy or capable of for some reason.

Today’s #OolaYLChallenge is to replace your doubt with 20 seconds of courage.


 

So, my number one goal is…to do it all 😂😂😂

Yeah. So, that one may take more than courage over self-doubt. But, in all seriousness…beyond being the best wife, mother and Soldier I can be…my number one goal these days is to achieve Diamond rank with Young Living because 1) what it means for my team and the information, resources and support I’ll be able to provide in helping them chase their dreams and achieve their own life-changing ranks 2) what it means for my family in terms of time together in the future (both Drew and I fully retired and focused on our health and being there for our kiddos) and 3) what it means for my family financially (more travel, higher quality adventure, more opportunities for education and adventure and zero debt or pressure to stay in the 9-5 grind after the Army).

Every little setback…every slow month…every “good idea” that doesn’t pan out like I thought…I get this nagging voice in my head that tells me it’s a pipe dream, I don’t deserve it and I’m not good enough (as a leader, as a person, you name it). Then I get down on me and inevitably all that negative energy spills over and poisons the well in every part of my life and worse yet…it effects all those relationships listed above which are the very essence of WHY I pursue this.

Its time to break that ugly, vicious cycle. It’s time to believe what I say to my team…it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t happen overnight. I mean, really? We are such a blessed team to have leaders who’ve shown us those possibilities but even if my journey doesn’t look like theirs….1) it’s still well above average (Gold is normally a 54 month journey….I did it in 29) and 2) IT IS GONNA HAPPEN. Maybe not in my time….but He always finds a way to remind me that His timing is always perfect. So, why am I sitting around sulking when I should be enjoying the ride?

So…Drew is at the park with the kiddos and the diffusers are going full blast (one is Fun, Balance, Lemon and Lime…the other is Orange, Release and Stress Away) and I’m just breathing it all in as I work on a post for my larger team’s Executive mentorship geoup. I’ve been procrastinating on a project for them because I mean….who am I to mentor? But, you know what? I have unique skills (because I am fearfully and wonderfully made) and I HAVE achieved milestones they are still running for…so why not? Eeep!

Oh! And because I talked money….I gotta share this IDS with you. But, I don’t mind and I ain’t shy about it. It knocks me out of my funk every time I look at it and dream about what’s to come 😍

Click to access incomedisclosurestatement_us.pdf

Oola Challenge Day 10: Anger

Here’s an excerpt from the Oola Guys:

Challenge 10: Anger

We’ve all been hurt. Some of us have been hurt by a boss, a parent, a financial situation, a spouse (or ex-spouse), a child, or a friend. We go through deep pain, betrayal, abandonment, and anger.

Our pain can lead to many forms of anger that not only affect you but everyone around you. This persistent anger can convince us to not believe in ourselves, trust other people, or love again. Oftentimes, we forgive whoever hurt us, but we haven’t actually dealt with what’s been done to us.

Today’s #OolaYLChallenge is to decide how long you will carry the anger and pain from your past into your future. If you have the courage to do this, we guarantee your past will always remind you but never define you.


Sure, I’ve got some acute anger and hurt at other people and circumstances but there’s only one person I’m truly ANGRY with…ALL THE TIME lately. And, it’s…ME 😡

I am angry I’ve not done better at prioritizing my relationships, my time, my money, my house, my photo albums, my health and on and on the list goes. I’m in a constant state of disappointment because I’m not living up to my own expectations…as set by the never ending “to-do” list. And y’all…autocorrect just changed list to liar and I had to laugh…’cause, for once autocorrect is on point. I’m lying to myself if I think that list is even close to realistic for a single person to accomplish in the timelines I have set.

The last couple of weeks have been really eye-opening on this subject. When Grace, Tiara, Amy and I were lucky enough to hear Shawn Achor speak at the YL Convention…it wasn’t the first time I’d heard a lot of his material (I highly recommend his book The Happiness Advantage or simply check out one of his TED Talks)…I’ve even used some of it to teach my Total Fitness elective at CGSC. But, the last few weeks I’ve kept coming back to a single concept…if happiness = success but success = a moving target…I’ll never BE happy. 😔

And anger and disappointment can’t be my motivation to do more or do better. Cause clearly….it isn’t working.

So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what success means to me. Healthy kids. A marriage with fire. A career I’m passionate about. Knowing I did my best to take care of those who count on me to fight for them. ❤️

The rest…messy house, piles of laundry, a to do list that doesn’t quit…they don’t really matter. Someday I’ll have it all done but I won’t have littles to chase and giggle with. And I won’t have the same responsibilities to the Army- to be a steward of my profession and to adopt all the families of my Soldiers as my own (and sometimes over my own). And, I am already seeing most of my oily team take off and fly on their own (though it warms my heart when they still need me from time to time).

So, I’ve been practicing grace this last week. Giving myself a break. Reprioritizing the lists. Catching up, when and where I can. Pursuing those assistants I mentioned on Day 2 and trying to just…breathe in the moments before they pass by. I’m not winning at every turn….by a lot 😂…but I feel confident I’m doing my best. And, I can already feel the difference in the climate in my home. Less whining (from adults and kiddos alike) and more smiles and more 🔥 shared between Drew and I. It’s been a couple of long tough weeks but, I’ve never felt more loved. And maybe that’s what success is all about…