Here’s an excerpt from the Oola Guys:
Challenge 9: Guilt
The weight of guilt is heavy. Guilt can build and become a major OolaBlocker if it goes unresolved. However, it’s also through our flaws, imperfections, and mistakes that we have the greatest opportunity to grow individually and in our relationships with others. How amazing is it to have someone in your life who recognizes the heart behind all your mistakes? It’s pretty Oola if you ask us.
The problem is, we often can’t move on until we are willing to admit we were wrong. We feel guilty for the pain we’ve caused someone, but we struggle to apologize because we don’t know how to put our feelings into words.
Forgiveness is the greatest gift we can receive—from others and from ourselves.
Oh man. Again with the timing.
Today has been a really difficult day. And, actually, yesterday wasn’t so hot either. I learned that I inadvertently hurt some friends with my behavior in recent encounters. It was, of course, not my intention but I can see that intent doesn’t make much difference when the end result is pain, disappointment or betrayal of trust.
So, here I sit struggling to find the words. I want to be hurt too, if I’m honest. And, I am, truly. But, making excuses about stress, the snowball effect, my good intentions and holding on to expectations and the past…it doesn’t help anyone involved move on from what happened.
Swallowing your own pain and a healthy dose of pride is hard. But relationships matter more. They may never be the same, of course. I know that. And, it’s…heartbreaking. But giving someone closure and a chance to speak their side of the hurt…is valuable. Hopefully, it helps to repair the damage. Hopefully, it helps them let go of anger/frustration/confusion…or at least brings about some peace and understanding. One thing it brings, for certain, is greater self-awareness.
In some respects, apologies should be planned so as not to cause more pain inadvertently, but sometimes overanalyzing leads to procrastination and well…bad news doesn’t get better with time. Sometimes it’s better to rip the band-aid off. So, here goes nothing…