I’m back…two days in a row 🙌🏼 Today I’m looking at those Oola Blockers from days 8-14.
Fear- For those who don’t know…I’m going to be single parenting for the next year. My husband is moving to Pensacola, FL to be the Professor of Military Science at the University of West Florida. We had a choice. We chose to control our separation. If he stayed here, we lost control of the next assignment and if I chose to move…I wasn’t guaranteed a slot with him and I was vulnerable to an overseas assignment. So, we chose the separation we knew…over the one we didn’t. I know in my heart this is the right decision for us. But, I’m terrified. I am SOOO afraid of the next year. Afraid I’ll fail at all my jobs…most especially at parenting while flying solo. Afraid I will let my fear, pain, jealousy get in the way of my most precious relationships. Afraid I will lose my shit on the regular and that I’ll let everyone down 😭
But, I have to admit my fear, use it as a forcing mechanism (to hire those assistants I’ve been talking about for a year) and I cannot let it paralyze me.
Guilt- ugh. Such a double edged sword. I feel it. I serve it. 🤦🏼♀️ I have to learn to exercise grace for myself and to give it without holding back and passing judgment. Stop projecting my own fears and emotions on others. Ask for clarity. Practice forgiveness and walk away when necessary. It’s not all meant to workout. Everyone is t meant to love me. I have to do my best and be my best self. That’s the only standard I can give myself.
Anger- ummm 😐 This is a work in progress. And I have a long way to go. Relaxing my grip and practicing grace are the best things I can do for everyone in my life right now. Lord, help me to remember and let go. 🙏🏻
Self-Sabotage- I have to stop letting myself get frozen by feeling overwhelmed. It just makes me feel useless, like I’ll never be enough and unworthy. But, every finished task makes me feel productive and energized….like I can do anything and the light at the end of the tunnel glows in response. I just have to “keep swimming Dorrie” 🐳
Laziness- bottom line…Stop. Making. Excuses. I’m not lazy. I’m the queen of procrastination. But I bring this stress on myself and I let the overwhelming take me over by shoving it all in a corner for later. Must take bite-sized chunks each day.
Jealousy- my favorite day in 21 Days of Prayer covers this verse…John 10:10.
“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”
Comparison is a joy thief. And what we see is only ever half the story. I mean…how much of my own story am I really sharing? Let it GO! His time. His plan. Not my own.
Focus- This. This is wha I tall boils down to. Focus can be a blocker or an accelerator. It all depends on how it’s applied. If I let my focus go dark and live in the negative…I will not thrive. But, if I can find a positive lens and chase my dreams with the end in mind…not just the minor setbacks of the short range targets…THAT is what it’s all about. And to that end…I can’t compare myself to others, I can’t worry about what other people think (it makes me inauthentic) and I can’t pour from an empty cup. I have to take care of me…mentally, physically, spiritually. I have to turn my focus inward for the problems and the answers. So….this is 40. 🤷🏼♀️
Y’all. It’s been a crazy long day. It started so promising…out the door on time…I even got a lot of stuff done…but did I spend my time wisely? Did I finish the day without screaming at everyone? 😐😬🙄 Ugh. But, this list. This review of Oola Blockers….such great reminders. I’ve come a long ways in some ways but I have so far to go to be the me I want to be.
Must. Stay. Focused.